 The Great Lower Matecumbe Paddle & Chase by Frank Baron
fter three years of aborted attempts to paddle with Jack & Nanci
LaMarre, Bostonians by way of western North Carolina, we finally
succeeded this past post
B&B
on February 25th. In 2004, Jack & Nanci led the then new contingent
of NC Medal Thieves, walking off with a mess of golds and silvers when
they medaled in a Bogey and two Bacall classes in their 2-day old QCCs
that they had shipped down and picked up in Hialeah. Not too shabby
for these peripatetic retirees who make the rest of us look like
At any rate, after 3 years of attempts thwarted by poor weather, too high winds, and late schedule conflicts, we finally made it out. Funny thing was, they came up to Miami from their campsite in Pennekamp to do a long-anticipated Virginia Key circumnav with Sally and me, but the winds and whitecaps dissuaded us, and we spent the day at Fairchild Tropical Botanical Garden, seeing the amazing glassworks of Dale Chihuly installed in the Garden. We had dinner on the Miami River, and did visit Jimbo’s on Virginia Key, much to the delight of our guests, and in spite of not paddling, had a delightful day in Miami.
Two weeks later, they’d moved to the Jolly Roger campground farther south, and I suggested Sally & I drive down to meet them for a trip out to historic Indian Key and then take a run through the back channels of Lower Matecumbe.
We drove down and met them at the launch at Indian Key Fill. Once again, Mother Nature was teasing us but saying no –whitecaps on the ocean again dissuaded us from slogging out to Indian Key against the wind. But it looked like maybe the back channels would be OK, so we drove over the bridge and went into Robbie’s to check it out. We visited the kayak shop, and said let’s do it.
Turns out we had a fine time. But it didn’t exactly start out that way... and about halfway through we were wondering about all the idiot boaters in this world. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves...
We paid $5 a boat to launch from the kayak concession beach that was about as mucky & sludgy as the back side of Lignumvitae Key or the mud flats at low tide –that gooey, sink to your calf kind of stuff. But the near end of the site was hard enough to launch and we all finally got going. Robbie’s is noted as a put-in/take-out site on the FKOPT -Florida Keys Overseas Paddling Trail. It might be a good idea to note which sites cost –and about how much they cost (and the date of the information) -to launch from, as part of the Paddling Trail information package. We circled out and paddled over to the docks, passing one of the tall power towers. It was rank with incredibly ammoniac guano -boy was that stuff acrid! The fumes almost brought tears to my eyes when I got downwind of the pylon and breathed in a little too enthusiastically. And then, suddenly, schooling all round below us, were the famous Robbie’s tarpon. But it was Unfortunate that the water was pretty cloudy, as we could only see those near the top. But it was still rather cool watching roll right near us. Then we headed out past that malodorously aromatic pylon around to the back side of the island, past the docks towards Florida Bay, and then turned into the mangrove channels. Hmmm... "Mangrove channels"... Well, there really were mangroves, but there were also a lot of side creeks with houses & houseboats. It was so-so paddling, but it was out of the stiff wind, and presented some interesting sights nonetheless... And we actually DID make it through some fairly tight (but not quite Shark Creek or Turner River tight) mangrove channels. We went into the maze, visited the National parks docks all the way at the end of the channel that Pat Wells & crew knew so well when they were based at Lignumvitae, were amazed at the solidity and height of the coquina underpinnings of Matecumbe where it was cut for the channels, passed folks on their boats and a barking dogs in yards and on boats, and come back out a different way. I was taking pics here and there with my disposable, submersible Polaroid filmcam. It’s a neat little fixed-focus one I’ve had for several years –it takes decent snapshot pics, and you use regular 35mm film in it and don’t need to buy a new camera each time you go out. It’s good down to 35 feet –and I know for a fact it’s good to 20. We made our way back to the south side of the island, and reconnected with the main boat channel. Paddling down a ways south, we crossed it and stopped at the sandbar -more like the sand island -on the flats between the backside of Lower Matecumbe and Lignumvitae to stretch and have a bite -snack bars.... A flats fishing boat with a poling platform comes out of the channel going north at good speed –and seeing us, slows down as they near, cutting his wake. We all holler 'thank you!'... Then this family in about a 24-footer comes in from the north side of Matecumbe from Indian Key Fill going south at almost full tilt, everybody all smiles as they zoom by, throwing a sizable wake -a muddy wake resulting from agitating the not too deep bottom if they looked (they never did), and really rocking us and our boats as we were about to get underway. They were having great fun on the water on that beautiful sunny day... We didn't wave back or smile as we got hosed by their wake... So off we go, and it's maybe 3/4 mile down to the backside of Lower Matecumbe to the thin part of the key via the boat channel. Ahead of us we can see the tall bridge that leads south from Craig Key in the distance as we exit the channel and enter a big bight or a small bay -kinda neat, seeing the tall structure off in the distance. We come out of the channel and cut across it to the left and paddle a bit in the bight before heading back.
As we start back, here comes that same family zooming north again, again going full tilt, cutting across out bows about 50 feet away as we’re approaching the channel. El Capitan at the wheel, and everyone else, for that matter, doesn't even bother to look at us, they just look straight ahead as they rock us with their 30+ mph wake. Why should THEY make nice to a bunch of sourpuss kayakers who wouldn't wave back at THEM before...? I said he probably has no clue... A boat comes out of the channel going south and slows so we don't get rocked by a big wake, and two boats come up from behind us. Coming in on plane, they, too, are nice to us and slow. First guy then tries a couple-three times to get his flats boat back on plane after passing us, throws up a lot of tan water, slows down, tries again, then tilts his outboard and tries again. Fellow behind him just slows and Jack & I are paddling along at his speed -and we strike up a conversation as Jack rides his wake. Jack fell back and rejoined Sally & Nanci, and I paddled along side him as he carefully watched his wake, and we talk. He came down in ‘71, moved to Pompano Beach, them moved to the Keys in ‘81 -and talks like those were the good old days... I had to laugh -I told him my folks dragged me down in 1960, 20 years earlier than ‘81, and the Keys were that much more pristine & that much nicer. He told me he needed to get away every so often, but is only gone a day or two before he realizes just how nice it is "here in the Keys". And it sure was that February Saturday –a gorgeous high blue sky, warm but not hot air, nicely cool (78oF per Jack's thermometer) water, and just all-in-all, a beautiful day on the water. I say ciao to the boater, and speed up a bit and paddle ahead of both him and the rest of the group back to the sand flats, and get out of the boat. About 5-10 minutes later Sally, Jack, & Nanci arrive, and we have a second break on the sandbar. While we're there, a cop in a boat we'd earlier seen pulling a couple of guys (Fishing violation? Safety check?) over roars out from Robbie's, comes around, and turns up the main boat channel, but then cuts into the channel we'd originally taken for our first mangrove tunnel tour behind the island. We chat a bit, Jack notes that the speeding boats churning up the mud must be how they keep the channel open, and I recall the boat that passed us just as we began our return trip back to Robbie’s slowing down and the fellow at the helm telling us it really wasn't too safe for us, that there was a blind corner (up near the Robbie's end of the channel) -implying we didn't have the same nav rights, and that the boats always sped along that stretch just like it was open water. After he revved it back up and departed in opposite direction, Nanci noted not only that we had just as much right, but being non-motorized, we actually had the right-of-way... Wonder if any of the skippers ever think in those terms... Yeah, guess not... I checked my little film cam, and realized it’d been taking the multiple shots using the same piece of film: for some reason: the film hadn’t been advancing! Luckily, Nanci took a couple of pics along the way. Imagine that -photog Frank, skunked...! So there we are on the sand island getting back in our boats when another northbound express comes blasting up the channel, this time the cabin cruiser going so fast he slops some of his frothing wake over the coaming into Sally's cockpit as she's still parallel to shore, just getting under way. Don't even recall who was driving or if there were any passengers or not, because just then... ...the most amazing, glorious, wonderful, laugh out loud thing happened! Remember that cop that disappeared into the mangrove channel? He flicked on his lights, turned on his siren, floored it in a roaring hole shot and came bursting out of his hiding place in the side channel and sped after them as the swung around to the east to go out to the Ocean under the bridge! Blue lights flashing, siren wailing, he lit out after the guy at full tilt... HOO-rah! I almost felt like standing up and cheering... Go get’em Smokey!!! Man, let me tell you -that made my day. I still smile thinking about it...
We decided once again not to beat ourselves up paddling against the stiff wind and the increasing chop out to Indian Key, went back to Robbie's, landed and racked the boats, and went over to The Hungry Tarpon. We found a table out under the mangroves on the back deck and were the last to be served there that day.
We watched the tourists feed the tarpon, and the pelicans steal food and make messes on the outboard motor housings, and chatted the rest of our late lunch away. All-in-all, a pretty good day. And to all Paradise Paddlers, Sally & I –AND Jack & Nanci, too! -say hi. Just don’t breathe too deeply at the launch, and above all, do NOT speed in the Matecumbe Boat Channel.
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slouches.
Jack & Nanci are just two of several North & South Carolingians I
enticed down to the 2004 B&B, including Baldpaddler & Red Cross Randy
in their Big Blue Mud River Canoe, and Canoenut, Steve, who wins or
places second (to some feller name of Barton is it?) in his gorgeous
stripper every year. 
Despite
-actually, precisely because -Jack grew up in New England and had to
always have 'stinking cod' on Fridays, he hates fishy fish. We've so
far turned them onto yellowtail & grouper as good fish that they
like. We’ll turn him into a complete non-lobster & shrimp-only
seafood lover yet.